A boiler repair and a study from the London School of Economics. Not the most exciting opening statement I’ll admit, but stick with it because these two random happenings in my life last week are linked by what we’re all looking for – the pursuit of happiness.

How happy are you?

A tricky question.  We don’t go around measuring how happy we are, it’s something we just have a feeling for.   It depends on the context, with possibly a different answer for ‘am I feeling happy today’ to ‘am I happy with my life’.  And it could depend on your age.

According to a recent study from the LSE’s Centre for Economic Performance, we’re happiest at 23 and 69, and unhappiest in our mid 50s. I totally get being happy at 23 given the optimism of youth and expectation of future achievement.   69 is more surprising, but I guess you would be pretty happy if you’re fit and healthy and just retired on a good pension.

The study by Dr Hannes Schwandt of Princeton University, which measured people’s expected and actual life satisfaction, showed people aren’t good at estimating how happy they will be in the future.  Young people tend to overestimate their future life satisfaction while older people underestimate it.

People don’t realise how quickly they adapt to life changes such as changes in income, so young people expect too much from anticipated income increases and the elderly the opposite.  With unmet expectations responsible for the midlife dip in wellbeing.

All very interesting but what if you’re not 23 or 69?  And woe betide you if you’re in your thirties, forties or fifties because your prospects don’t look too good for a number of years.  Of course academic studies don’t directly reflect an individual’s experience in this way, but it got me thinking about the nature of happiness.

Thoughts on happiness

If you ask people what they want in life they’ll probably say they want to be happy. They may then talk about the things they think will make them happy like having a lot of money, being healthy, having a lovely family and so on.

But what is happiness? How do we describe it and how do we get it?

Happiness Definition

Turning to the Oxford dictionary tells us that happiness is

Quotation-Marks “ the state of being happy”.

True but not altogether helpful.

Following this train of thought we find ‘happy’ means

Quotation-Marks “feeling or showing pleasure or contentment”.

Better but still doesn’t totally capture it.

Here are a few observations and thoughts on the pursuit of happiness.

Happiness is relative

There are different types of happiness and it’s a relative term.

If you’re starving then having a good meal might grant you temporary happiness.  If you’re homeless, having a bed for a night and a hot bath might make you happy. But this happiness would be short lived and undermined by the return to hardship.

So let’s take it as a given that our basic needs are met, what then?

Happy things

There are things that make you feel happy. These are experiences of things you love doing.  Having a great night out with friends, jumping out of a plane or over a cliff on a bit of elastic, enjoying a film, looking forward to a fantastic holiday, buying a new pair of shoes, lying by a pool in the Caribbean. You get the idea.

We want to live our lives having more of these experiences because we like the way they make us feel.  This sort of happiness is tied up with the notion of pleasure, enjoyment and fun.

Happy in yourself

Then there is a more fundamental type of happiness, which ideally underlies or underpins our lives. This is a state of being.

This is the sort of happiness that comes with being content with oneself and comfortable in your own skin.  It’s about being happy in yourself without relying on other people or external props.

This happiness builds up resilience and confidence, which help you meet the inevitable challenges of life.  It doesn’t mean you don’t want more happy experiences or to improve your life, but there is a basic contentment and satisfaction at the heart of you.

This is not about the highs of life but about everyday wellbeing.

Happiness and brilliant living

For this reason happiness is not an endpoint.   Happiness is not something to be achieved once and for all, but is a derivative of a life being well lived.

Julian recently asked ‘What is Brilliant Living’ and whilst not specifically about happiness, all the characteristics of brilliant living apply to being happy. Happiness is a by-product of living a life that’s brilliant to you.

Don’t wait for happiness

This means happiness is not something you need to wait until you’re 69 to experience. I’ve not the slightest intention of hanging around waiting for happiness to descend on my 69th birthday.  Nor of making happiness dependent on some possible future event like losing weight or getting a new job.

There is nothing lucky about being happy

No, happiness is not due to circumstances or luck or money, or career or success, or talent or education, or weight or looks or age.

Although these play a part, we all know people who appear to have everything but are stressed and miserable, and people with little who seem happy, but also those who are wealthy and happy or poor and unhappy.

Decide to be happy

Being happy is about attitude, it is about the approach we take.  Happiness is a skill we can learn, and a habit we can foster.  There are things you can do to make yourself happier and increase your wellbeing, and it all starts with the decision to be happy.

It doesn’t need to be complicated.  If you want specific simple actions to increase your happiness from wherever you are now on the happiness spectrum, click below to receive our FREE one page report detailing ‘11 Simple Actions To Boost Your Happiness Today and Everyday‘.

Which brings me back to the boiler.  You probably thought I was going to say I was happy to have hot water flowing again.  That’s true, but I actually want to tell you something about Martin the heating engineer.  During our conversation Martin said:

Quotation-Marks ‘I love what I do, I’ve got control and I’m very happy’.

I was very taken with Martin’s description for a couple of reasons.

Firstly that Martin described himself as very happy in a totally unprompted off the cuff manner.  I wonder how many people articulate how they feel about their life in such a matter of fact and positive way.  Would most people describe themselves as very happy?

Secondly, how the other two parts of his statement are integral to his happiness ‘I love what I do’ and ‘I’ve got control’.

This chimes with my experience.  Control over our lives and a sense of fulfilment, enjoyment, and love for what we do whether at work or play, hobby or family life, are essential ingredients for happiness.

Choose happiness and make it happen

So what about you? In your pursuit of happiness, do you describe yourself as very happy? If not do you want to do something about it?

  1. Answering yes is the first step to choosing happiness.
  2. The second is to download our FREE happiness report now for the 11 simple actions that you can do (quickly and for free) to boost your happiness starting today!